“Dear Love: A Letter to This Generation”

by Pastor Timothy D. Hayes Jr.

Dear Love,

I don’t even know where to start, because it’s hard to love out here in 2025. Not because people don’t want it — but because most don’t know what it actually means anymore. We’ve replaced commitment with convenience, truth with tension, and purpose with pleasure. Folks say they want something real, but the moment it requires patience, they panic.

We’re living in a time where loyalty got limits and commitment got conditions. People fall in love quick but fall out of it even faster. Everybody’s scared to trust, but still crave connection. We got too many options and not enough honesty. It’s like people just want to be loved for the idea of them — not the reality of who they are.

Social media made it worse. We spend more time scrolling than speaking, comparing our relationship to people we don’t even know. Everybody posting matching fits, fancy dinners, and vacation videos — but they never post the therapy sessions, the forgiveness, or the nights they prayed not to give up. And that’s what kills people’s expectations. They want the picture without the process.

The truth is, we’ve made love harder by making lust easier.

We live in a society where “girls’ night out” turned into an excuse for boundaries to break and morals to blur. I’m not judging — I’m just saying what most men and women are too scared to say out loud. I’ve seen too many so-called innocent nights turn into something nobody planned but everybody secretly entertained.

It starts off simple — a little music, a few shots, the group chat hype, the “we outside” selfies. Next thing you know, somebody’s drunk, emotions get blurry, laughter turns into touching, and what was meant to be “just fun with friends” becomes something that changes how everybody looks at each other the next morning. And the worst part? Most people don’t even call it cheating because “it didn’t mean anything.”

But it did.
It always does.

Because when your peace is tied to someone who trusts you, even what happens in the dark matters. What people do when they think nobody’s watching reveals what kind of love they’re really ready for. And I’m not just talking to women — men too. “Guy trips” ain’t no better. Folks acting single in cities their partner ain’t in. We’ve normalized disloyalty as long as it’s private.

Somewhere along the line, being faithful stopped being fashionable. People don’t even hide their flirting anymore — they just call it “networking” or “energy.” But every DM, every late-night conversation, every moment you let temptation linger — it chips away at the very thing you swore you were building.

And then we wonder why trust is dead. Why we overthink, overcheck, and over-question everything. It’s because we’re living in an era where too many people play with hearts like they’re replaceable. But love was never meant to be a game you win; it’s a garden you water.

It’s crazy how the same people who say “I want something real” be the same ones who can’t handle real love when it comes. Real love requires accountability. It requires maturity. It requires somebody who’s willing to say, “I messed up,” without making excuses. But in this generation, nobody wants to be wrong — they just want to be right by themselves.

I’ve learned that relationships aren’t perfect. They’re a constant practice. It’s two imperfect people learning how to grow without losing who they are. You don’t need someone who completes you — you need someone who comprehends you. Someone who lets you breathe, who lets you heal, who lets you be you without guilt or performance.

You need somebody who sees your past but still believes in your potential. Somebody who’ll pray for you when you’re distant. Somebody who can sit in the silence with you and not take it personal. Because at the end of the day, love ain’t supposed to shrink you — it’s supposed to stretch you.

And I get it — trust is hard. It’s hard to give your heart to someone when you’re still bleeding from the last one. It’s hard to believe in loyalty when the world rewards betrayal. It’s hard to love with your whole heart when everyone else is only giving half. But that’s what separates the real from the temporary.

The problem ain’t that people can’t love — it’s that they’ve stopped believing love requires discipline. We chase chemistry but neglect consistency. We talk about “vibes” more than values. We want passion without patience. But every real relationship is built in the quiet moments after the chaos — when both people decide, “We’re not giving up.”

I wish more people understood that.
Because love ain’t dead — it’s just buried under pain, pride, and pretending.

We lost the art of building. We quit too fast. We cheat too easy. We compare too much. We forget that real love is found in forgiveness, not fantasy. In commitment, not convenience.

See, a lot of folks want to be loved but they don’t want to be loveable. They want a partner who won’t give up on them, but they keep living like they don’t have anyone to lose. Love doesn’t grow in that kind of soil. It takes roots — accountability, prayer, vulnerability, communication.

And when you find someone who lets you be you, who doesn’t ask you to shrink or fake it, who laughs with you on your bad days and believes in your better ones — you protect that. You cover that. You pray for that. Because peace like that don’t come around often anymore.

So yeah, it’s hard to be in a relationship in 2025. The culture made it complicated. But love itself? Love still works. It just needs people who do.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been questioning if good love still exists — it does. It’s just rare. It takes time, truth, and transformation. It takes two people willing to heal before holding hands, and to pray before posting.

Love ain’t just romance; it’s responsibility. It’s not butterflies; it’s balance. It’s not perfect, but it’s powerful.

Because when it’s real — it don’t matter who’s watching.
It don’t need a filter, a caption, or a story.
It just needs two people who keep choosing each other, even when it’s not easy.

So dear love, I still believe in you.
Even in this generation of confusion and comparison.
Even after the heartbreaks, the drunk nights, the miscommunication, the distractions.
Because I’ve seen what happens when two people stop performing for the world and start building with purpose.

Love still lives — it’s just waiting for us to remember how to treat it.

Sincerely,
Timothy D. Hayes Jr.